What is Music Association Training in D/s relationships?

What is Music Association Training in D/s relationships?

First things first, I am in no means an expert in this field. I do have a therapy background and a vague understanding of music therapy, but I do not have a certification or specific training. I don’t think there even would be one considering how much of the lifestyle is unique to the submissive and dominant living in it.

For those of you who don’t know me, I am an erotic author with Changeling Press and Dreamspinner Press. I am also currently searching for a submissive and have found my search to be quite interesting. Out of everything I offer, and I mean EVERYTHING, I get asked about Music Association the most. So I thought I’d explain to anyone else out there who really loves music and wants to use it when training a submissive or try it out themselves.

What exactly is association?

In this context, think of it like operant conditioning. You know, behavioral theories and stuff. When a pet is good, they get a treat. When they are bad, they get ignored. Except with music, the reward and punishment has a lasting affect.

Think about it this way. If you listened to the same song while eating your favorite ice cream over and over and over, then you heard the song without having any… wouldn’t you want to go get some?

Which song should I pick?

The song has to be important to you and unique to what you are using it for. Although there are an abundance of slave songs, including “I’m a Slave 4 U” by Britney Spears, perhaps that might not be the best one. Not unless it means a lot to you already.

Regardless, the song needs to be determined by you and you alone before you start the association. If you have already met your submissive by this point and are looking to try something new, you have an even better insight as to what might really hit their feels. If you haven’t, like me, then pick a song that means a lot to you. Words aren’t necessarily important, although something in a language they don’t understand might not be the way to go.

What if your submissive really hates the song?

Depends. What context is the song being used? If they are being punished, it really doesn’t matter how they feel because they aren’t supposed to be enjoying themselves. If they are being rewarded with an orgasm and they hate the song so much they can’t get aroused, then you probably want to reconsider. After all, if they aren't providing the reaction you want, the whole idea of the association is kind of pointless.

So how do you use the song?

My favorite way to use this song is through orgasm control/denial. This is tricky if you are searching for your submissive because you don’t want to get overly dominant before they are ready. So be very specific with what you expect and want. If you already know your submissive, then this part is very easy.

AFTER meeting first in a public place, determine when you are going to meet for the scene. Then this is what I say/do.

Three days before our expected date, he/she gives up complete control over his/her orgasm. He/she are to edge every night at least once while listening to the same song. I don’t ask if he/she like it. I don’t ask if they’ve heard it. I just tell him/her what it is. Then the day of the scene, when/if you allow him/her release, play the song. Look at his/her reaction then. This might take months or a year, but one day, if they hear the song on the radio…what do you think his/her first reaction is going to be?

How do I know if my submissive is actually listening to the song?

You don’t! Not unless you live with him/her. But the point is he/she wants to submit so you have to have faith he/she will do what you ask.

Remember. 

Everything in BDSM and the lifestyle is consensual on both sides. It’s probably not a good idea to meet a man/woman and then tell him/her to do this for you if he/she isn’t comfortable. Don’t force, just ask. Most of the men I have been “interviewing” for the position of my submissive have been very interested.

One thing I don’t ever do is give away the name of my songs. They are very special to me and I want the submissive I finally tell to know what that means.

I hope this helped! Whether you were looking for something to spice up the bedroom with your partner or are looking for slave training techniques, this is definitely at the top of my list. Now I am actively looking for a submissive, I plan on posting more. Next time I will talk more about fetlife, an online site used to finding others into kink.

Smooches!

Hump Day Humps

Twisted by Ana Raine!

Touching gently through their pants, I altered my gaze from Max to Bentley, both lost in the pleasure. I was sure I wasn’t giving them half as much as they had given me, but neither complained. The only expression on their faces was that of bliss.

            But I didn’t think it was enough.

            In a matter of three days, I had been given more intense, romantic orgasms than I had ever experienced before. Just because they’d never ask, doesn’t mean I wasn’t willing to give.

            “No,” Max and Bentley cried in unison as I released them and slid from the couch.

            “I’m not going anywhere,” I mumbled, positioning myself more comfortably on the floor. The carpet was plush and felt good against my knees. My fingers trembled as I sought the courage to do what I really wanted.

            First, I worked on Bentley’s zipper, pulling it down just enough for me to reach inside of his pants and retrieve his cock. The tanned, hard flesh was heavy in my hands and made my mouth water. Then I pulled at the string of Max’s shorts until they gave way, his dick hard and pale and proud.

            I expected they would look at each other, even if only for a moment, but their eyes never strayed from me.

            Finally, outgoing Bentley gathered the nerve to ask. “What are you doing, Pip?”

            “Sucking you off,” I told him, pressing a kiss to the tip of his cock. His shirt had ridden up so I could see the way his stomach dipped in at the abrupt movement. “Don’t know if I’m any good at it though.”

            “You don’t have to,” Max started as I took his cock in my hands and experimentally licked the head. “Oh fuck…”

            “I want to.” If my mouth was focused on one, I made sure my hand was working the other. “Unless you guys feel weird about me doing it to both of you.”

            As if remembering the other was there, a look of hostility crossed their faces. But then I took Bentley halfway down my throat and he moaned loudly, his hand reaching for my hair. “Seriously, I don’t give a damn. Just keep your mouth on me.”

            I bobbed up and down a few times before moving to Max. He had his mouth open and his breathing came fast. I watched his pupils dilate as expectation overtook him. When he started to pant, I took him into my mouth.

            “Pip,” Max groaned, “I don’t care either. Do whatever you want. You can decide later.”

            By decide, I knew he meant which one of them I wanted to be with. The fact I could have both crossed my mind for the briefest of seconds, but before it could solidify, was gone.

            What I’d give to have my two closest friends be my lovers. But the way they seemed to hate each other suggested they would never come to love one another the way I yearned for them.

            “Pip,” Bentley groaned as he bit his lower lip. I wasn’t sure if he’d grown impatient without my mouth or if the pleasure from my hand had driven my name from his lips.

Closing his eyes, he hummed as I licked the prominent vein running along his shaft before darting my tongue into his slit.

“Please tell me you don’t do this all the time,” Bentley begged.

“Of course he doesn’t,” Max defended as he slipped his hand under my chin and guided me back to his glistening cock. “He’s a virgin.”

“What?” Bentley’s shout was almost indistinct as I tightened my hand around his shaft and stroked with increased fervor.

“What did you expect?” Max threw back.            

“Pip, give me your virginity,” Bentley pleaded, fingers tugging at my red strands. “Please, baby. Choose me.”

“No way,” Max’s hand was strong along my jaw. “He’s mine. Pip, love, choose me.”

            The serene moment had been shattered and I was pretty sure we were never going to get it back. “Guys,” I stressed, pulling away from both of them before my neck snapped. “You’re hurting me. I’m trying really hard to make you both feel good…just be patient.”

            “I’m sorry, baby,” Max released his hold on my jaw as he settled for stroking my cheek instead.

            Bentley’s fingers slipped from my hair and he put his hands behind his back. “Please, Pip, continue.”

Alternating between the two wasn’t working, so I settled for securing my mouth around Max’s cock and stroked Bentley’s heavy cock with my hand. I waited for them to argue, but if their moans were any indicator, they were lost in pleasure.

Max’s legs tightened and he let out a low groan as I felt cock grow harder in my mouth. Increasing suction, I focused on the tip, alternating between sucking and using my tongue. Max seemed to like my focus rather than how fast I was taking him, so I used that knowledge to draw out his orgasm.

It was only another moment before he was panting on the couch, his hands trembling on his lap as he threw back his head and moaned loudly. My name along with several praises left his lips as I felt the hot sprays of his cum hit the back of my throat. Swallowing, I made sure he was done before instantly taking him into my hand and moving over to Bentley.

I hesitated.

Did Bentley really want me to take him into his mouth now I had had Max’s cum in my mouth?

I looked up at him in question, but his hand was urgent on the back of my neck and I realized he could’ve cared less.

“Pip, just do it, baby.”

            I leaned forward and swirled my tongue around the tip of his engorged cock. He moaned softly, but there was a frustration as well. Realizing he needed something different, I increased my speed and took him as far into my throat. He started bucking his hips, meeting my movements with his own until I could hear the strain in his voice.

            “Close, baby. Take it all. Yea, just like that.”

            Unlike serene, calm Max who was basking in the afterglows of his orgasm, Bentley was engaged. He was commanding and dominant, enjoying the control he had over me.

            “Damn,” Bentley screamed, jerking forward so the tip of his cock hit the back of my throat.

            I swallowed eagerly, taking his load the same way I’d taken Max’s. I kept him within the warmth of my mouth until I was sure he’d ridden through his aftershocks. Pulling away, I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and stared up at them guiltily.

            Surely, now they could see how this would never work. I bet their gaze, alternating between Max and then Bentley until I was sure they saw my resolve. Max and Bentley had wanted to experiment with a guy and why not their best friend. But now it was over.

            Except….neither one moved away.

Read more steamy excerpts here

Hump Day Humps!

The farther we walked, the more obscured in the tall trees and flowers we became. There was a fountain with white marble around the base. Beside the fountain was a thick, large blanket splayed out on the ground.

            I stopped short. “You planned this?”

            He smiled wickedly and released me.

            “And if I’d said no to being yours?” I asked quietly.

            Prince Adrian cupped me through my pants. “Did you think about saying no?”

            “Never.”

            His lips were cool against mine as he held my jaw so I couldn’t shy away. The kiss was powerful, his tongue swirling inside of my mouth. I knew demons could administer a pheromone through their saliva and instantly I felt its affects.

            “Lie down, Collin.” My face was on fire and my cock was so hard I thought I might burst.

             I obeyed and waited while he took off his shoes, pants, and boxers. He knelt in front of me and pushed my shoulders until I was lying down. Slowly, he took off my shoes, and then unbuttoned and got rid of my pants too.

            “Are you cold?” He asked.

            “I’m on fire.”

            “Not yet you are.”

            He peeled down my briefs, my cock bobbing free inches from his face. Without warning, he held both my wrists down at my sides and took my cock down the back of his throat.

            I cried out as I arched my back. He hummed around my cock, focusing on the head as I squirmed on the ground. “So good.”

            He pulled his mouth away, releasing my cock with a small pop. “I’m relieved. I want it to be very good for you.”

            Prince Adrian didn't take his coat off, but I kind of liked the way the fabric tailored to his body. He released my wrists and I closed my eyes as I heard something plastic being opened. Then his finger was at my entrance. “Do not clench up, Collin.”

            I took a breath as he pushed into my tight rings of muscle. He prodded inside of me for a few moments and then added a second finger. I wasn’t sure what he was doing, but God it felt amazing.

            He curled his fingers inside of me, scraping against a spot that lit my entire body on fire.

            “Is it still good?”

            “I’ve never felt anything better.” I cried out breathlessly. Truth be told, I was having a hard time accepting the fact that his fingers were in me. There was a nagging suspicion I couldn't chase away. I had no proof of his words being true, but logic told me he had nothing to gain by sleeping with me.

            And hell if I didn’t want to pleasure him. Even if his words were untrue, his fingers were working magic inside my body, making my thighs tighten and my cock harder with every passing moment. I wanted him inside of me.

            When he slipped his fingers out of me, I opened my eyes and sat up so I could plead with him. “What’s wrong? Why are you stopping?”           

            Prince Adrian studied my face with his dark eyes. He glanced down and I felt my mouth go completely dry when I saw his long, thick dick standing straight at attention. Before he could stop me, I reached forward and wrapped my hand around his shaft and stroked up and down over the condom he was wearing.

            He leaned his head back and moaned softly into the night. I stared at the slight bit of skin exposed at his throat, his heavy breathing. I wanted him so desperately.

            “I’ve wanted you for longer than I can remember,” he whispered, pushing my hand away and pushing me back onto my back. My legs were hoisted over his shoulders and he positioned his cock at my waiting entrance. “I can’t wait any longer. I’m at my limit.”

            Flushing a new shade of scarlet I focused on his beautiful eyes and he penetrated me. I’d never felt something so painful and pleasurable at the same time before. The need to touch him was overpowering and I reached up to stroke his cheek, but stopped.

            Prince Adrian was fully sheathed inside of me, but paused his thrusting. “Do not shy away from me.”

            Touching the skin of his cheeks meant more to me than I could describe. My heart hammered loudly inside my chest and I literally feared it might explode.

            “There are questions in your eyes,” he whispered before taking my wrist and guiding my finger towards his parted lips. The moistness of his mouth combined with his slow thrusting drove me to the point of tears. The head of my cock had to be purple with how bad my need to come was. “You don’t need to be weary. I want you. I’ve wanted you for a long time.”

            I moaned as he brought my fingers down his throat. “Not enough.”

            He pulled my hand away from his mouth. “I told you I would bring you to tears. But I think part of you wants me to do that.”

            “Yes.”

            “Hold your knees.”

            I obeyed, holding my knees towards my chest while still leaving my entrance exposed for him. He’d barely left my heat, but he must’ve been holding back because I felt more length enter me than before.

            “Am I hurting you?”

            “No way. I want more.”

            He chuckled and wrapped one of his hands in my hair, the other on my hip. He pounded into me mercilessly.           

            Prince Adrian’s breathing was rugged, but my screaming was drowning out everything else. If someone walked by, they would’ve thought I was dying from too much pleasure.

            I should’ve known Prince Adrian wouldn’t take it easy on me. When I felt my stomach pool with heat, he stopped his movements and focused on my neglected cock.

            My tail was thumping against the ground embarrassingly. “Do you want me to pleasure you?”

            “If you want.”

            His hand tightened around the base of my cock. “That’s not much of an answer.”

            “Yes. Yes, please.”

            Satisfied with my answer, he focused back on my pleasure, using techniques I never would’ve thought of. I was close and could feel my balls draw closer to my body.

             But he stopped, once again placing his hand on my hip and pounding into me. The cycle continued endlessly, until my cock was so hard the simplest touch from him almost sent me over the edge. Prince Adrian showed emotion he had never shown before. His eyes were glistening and there were small beads of sweat on his forehead. His lips parted with each passing breath and he furrowed his brow in pleasure.

            “Please, let me…”

            “Only because it’s you.”

            He wrapped his hand around my cock and entered me over and over until I had to close my eyes because looking at him was too intense. “You can come for me now.”

            I shook as my orgasm ripped through me. Prince Adrian’s hand tightened in my hair and I heard the most beautiful whimper escape his lips. Forcing my eyes open, I sought his eyes and almost collapsed from the look of pure ecstasy I saw reflecting back at me. When our orgasms had come to a rest, he slowly slipped out of me.

            His hand took my chin and angled my face up to him. “Did I harm you?  I was rather rough.”

            I licked my lips, elated they still tasted like his cold, clean skin. “No. You are amazing.”

            There was the slightest blush underneath his cheeks, but it was fleeting. “You say things that make me come undone.”

            I waited.

            “You have to understand…that what I took from you-“

            Before this point, I never would’ve interrupted the Prince of demons, but I needed him to know how badly I’d wanted him. “-I gave you myself. You didn’t take anything.”

            He looked taken off guard as he released my chin and ran his hand down his coat jacket, smoothing the fabric. I caught a glimpse of his dragon ring on his thumb and was relieved he’d used his other hand to touch my member.

            “I won’t let you be harmed,” he promised as he stood up and redressed. His back was to me, but I could hear his dark voice clearly. “Even now, I want to give you a chance to leave. Demons are said to be the most possessive and brutal of lovers. Not just in bed, but all around. If you choose to stay with me, my longing to protect you will grow stronger until one day, I won’t be able to let you go.”